by David Falk | Download PDF | Purchase Hardcopy

Reflect for yourself and ask the question: Have you lost sight of your way? Is your life governed by your instinctive responses? It is imperative that we understand ourselves and our impact on life. It is fascinating to canvass our society and observe well known men and women. Who has understanding of themselves? Conversely, it is intriguing to observe people who evidently don’t understand themselves. 

The book of Proverbs instructs us in the way of wisdom whereby we may understand ourselves and understand our way. The key word in the book of Proverbs is wisdom. It has been defined as ‘the ability to live life skillfully’. The book begins with ‘To know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding’. Prov 1:2. Further along we read of the importance of understanding our own way. ‘How can a man understand his way?’ Prov 20:24. ‘It is the wisdom of a man to understand his way.’ Prov 14:8. If you understand your way; if you rule your spirit, then you honor the truth about yourself. Only then will you acquire genuine self-knowledge before God. You need to rule your own spirit and understand yourself, because the will of God in all its sovereignty is already determined for you. You must understand the will of God and understand your way.  

In the second book of Samuel, we read about a period in the life of King David where he damaged himself by not heeding the ‘do not’ of God. King David’s problem began in the season ‘when kings go out to battle’, and he didn’t go. 2 Sam 11:1. Accordingly, he was in the wrong place. He looked over the wall and saw a beautiful woman. All the questions David asked about that woman were not wrong questions. Rather, they should never have been asked at all. Why was he even looking, and why was he even there? David, at that time, had lost sight of his way. In the book of Kings this incident is recorded as the one thing that David did that was not pleasing to the Lord. It ultimately caused him much grief. ‘David did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord and turned not aside from anything that He commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.’ 1 Kings 15:5. In time, Solomon, like his father, also lost his way. However, it appears that he did not recover himself as his father David did.

We find many ‘do nots’ in the book of Proverbs, teaching us not to live life by instinct. For example: Do not bear false witness. Do not be a man of great anger. Do not be a man of great appetite. Do not be a man who loves sleep. These are measures by which you can look at yourself, understand your way, regulate yourself to your way, and control your own life. ‘Do not’ is an interesting approach. Most of us like the positive aspects of life, but we don’t tend to learn much from our success. There is only one thing worse than making a mistake and not knowing why you made it. It is being successful and not knowing why you’re successful, because you can never repeat that success. You don’t understand your way.

According to the book of Proverbs, we should guard ourselves and our integrity. Do not say yes and not do. Do not make a pledge. Do not lie to save face. I am amazed at how many Christian people tell lies, not flagrant, manipulating, calculated dishonesty, but white lies, so to speak. They are just little statements to slightly represent the truth another way. How is it that an honest person, full of integrity, could actually be dishonest? It is mostly not because they are being flagrantly manipulative to get an outcome for themselves. It is mostly lying to save face. I was struck powerfully when I looked at the statement in the Scripture about ‘bearing false witness’. Lying and bearing false witness are put into two different genres in the Scripture. Bearing false witness is an interesting statement. It is slightly representing something to convey the impression that it is other than what it really is. It is just a false witness or a slight misrepresentation. ‘A false witness will not go unpunished.’ Prov 19:5. We must all learn that being up front on a matter is much more to our benefit, even though the initial outcome might be poorer. The benefit in the long term is genuinely sustainable.

Self-control is the most critical means by which we rule our spirit. Little wonder it is one of the nine fruits of the Spirit. Gal 5:22,23. Many people don’t value, pursue and retain self-control under pressure. That’s what the book of Proverbs means by ruling one’s spirit. I often raise the thought with people that their answer in a situation is not found in the will of God alone. They must rule their spirit, exercising self-control. They must lay hold of themselves. ‘He who rules his own spirit is better that he who takes a city.’ Proverbs 16:32. It is fascinating to observe Christian people who want the Holy Spirit to do everything for them. They look for a miracle instead of exercising self-control and diligence in their life. Personally, I do not lean heavily on God’s sovereignty alone. Rather, I feel compelled to exercise stewardship towards my own life. I remember as a young man being taught, ‘Don’t try and do what God said He would do, and don’t ask God to do what He asks you to do’. In the things that He has asked me to do, I don’t give much time to prayer, as if wondering if I should continue to proceed. I apply myself to those things, without seeking constant reaffirmation that I should continue doing what He has already told me to do.

The book of Proverbs tells us to make plans. ‘The heart of a man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps.’ Prov 16:9. These two extremes, the heart of a man planning his way and the Lord directing his steps, synthesize when we understand our way. We make plans while pursuing an understanding of our way. Equally, the Lord directs our steps and brings our plans to prosperity.   Many people pursue a course in life only while they are motivated. Much prayer that people offer up is asking whether they should continue to do what God has given them to do. We can’t assume that because we are no longer motivated, the will of God has changed. There are very few courses of action that we should commence in life and not see through to their conclusion. However, this does not mean that we don’t change course many times in our lifetime.

The ‘Y generation’ consists of people from about 18 to 30 years. Unlike previous generations, they do not believe that you stay in a job for the whole of your life. That thinking has some merit in today’s world. On the other hand, working on a task until my motivation or instinct runs out is inadequate to say the least. An upwardly mobile person who understands their way, notwithstanding they fulfill their obligations of course, should not have be tied to a course in life unduly. Former generations were taught that you acquired a job and you effectively stayed there all your life. Staying in one place of employment for ten years does not necessarily equate to the will of God. It may just be conservative fear. Personally, I ask the question regularly, ‘Should I continue to do this? Why should I continue to do this? Should I cease to do this? Why should I cease to do this?’ Alternatively, there are areas of life where these questions should never be asked. If you are married, you don’t wake up every morning and go to prayer and ask should you continue in the marriage. If you are asking ‘that question’, you are asking the wrong question.

Wisdom comes from the Lord. ‘Wisdom is the principal thing. And with all your getting, get understanding.’ Prov 4:7. Your success in life won’t finally be governed by the will of God alone. If the will of God does not equate with understanding your way, then you will never fulfill the will of God for your life. And in a crisis you must exercise control over your spirit. Otherwise, you will not know how to speak a word in season. Silence, is far more important than speaking. ‘Even a fool, when he is silent, seems wise.’ Prov 17:28. We might conclude that even a fool when he is silent looks like he understands his way. Remember that where there are many words transgression is unavoidable. If you will be slow to speak and slow to anger, you have given yourself time to understand your way.

For many people, life is not good unless they are feeling emotionally good. However, what we feel is mostly irrelevant. Many men are emotive creatures who are registering the effect of life, whether it is good or bad, according to how they are feeling at the time. Giving birth and having children tends to moderate this impulse in women. But many men never learn or register life, apart from what they are feeling. The Scriptures equate emotional vibrancy with eating honey. It is good to eat honey. However, we know the consequences of eating too much honey. The Scriptures also say, ‘It is not good to eat much honey; so to seek one’s own glory is not glory’. Prov 25:27. You should not be governed by the pursuit of your own glory. Philanthropists such as Bill Gates, JD Rockefeller, and Andrew Carnegie of U.S. Steel, as well as many other entrepreneurs through the course of history, eventually came to this conclusion. In the pursuit of great riches, approval and success, eventually they realized it was a dry well. It would return nothing worthwhile back to them. They learnt to give.

Do we make anxiety driven responses? The book of Proverbs uses the word ‘fret’ instead of ‘anxiety’. I love the word ‘fret’ because it is softer than anxiety. The apostle Paul told us to have no anxiety about anything. The book of Proverbs simply says ‘fret not’. Prov 24:19. If you rule your spirit you will apply yourself to identifying the beginnings of anxiety. Likewise, you will identify the cause of your fretting. According to the book of Proverbs, ‘The beginning of trouble is like the letting out of water’. If you’ve ever been in Asia or New Guinea and seen a downpour, you will know that once the water begins to come, it creates havoc. The book of Proverbs says to abandon the trouble before it begins. We are constantly warned by the scriptures not to be people of anger. The beginnings of anger are in frustration. In fact, it begins in the same place as fretting and anxiety. It is most helpful to identify those early agitations that lead to troubling and address them while they are still a trickle. 

I have endeavoured over a long period of time to rule my spirit. I have learnt not to read into myself every response that people make when they are talking to me. I have applied myself to understand my impact on them, rather than their impact on me. If we took a moment to consider our way in this matter, we would realize just how much we read life into ourselves. Of course, this is why we find ourselves so often offended. ‘It’s the honor of a man to overlook a transgression’. Prov 19:11. You have an impact upon every situation in which you find yourself. If we do not properly register our impact upon others then we will have no mercy and no grace. Evidently, you have no control over your spirit, and you will be like ‘a city without walls broken into’. Prov 25:28. When you are offended it is like someone has broken into your city. They have moved into your space. They have impacted upon you. You are like a ‘city without walls’.

Plumb the depths of your motivations because, at the bottom line, understanding your way has two complementary facets. Firstly, it is about the sovereign will of God. Secondly, it is about your motive. Apply your heart to understanding your motive, your personal mechanisms and behaviours. We must war against the predisposition of our personality and psyche with all its emotions and compulsions. We will either rule our spirits or we will inevitably be governed by the complexities of our emotions. We must understand the bottom line of all our responses. Given certain provocations and circumstances, it is inevitable that we will all respond in certain ways. This is the first aspect of understanding your way. It must be your life’s pursuit to understand your way and rule your spirit.

Author: David Falk | Toowoomba Christian Fellowship TCF
Published by Vision One at Toowoomba Christian Fellowship TCF
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